I was praying this morning, and honestly, asking God what was this year all about. As I was watching a clip today with Melissa Helser, the Holy Spirit shook me to my core with this truth: “Winters of rest and barrenness are necessary for Springs of fruitfulness and harvest.” 2016 has been hard, very hard. For the majority of this year, I felt that for every moment of beauty that was presented, pain followed close by. I always found God to be close to my broken heart, but I was starting to doubt my ability to keep moving forward because the craziest things kept happening. I would get my hopes up, and my world would violently come crashing down. I questioned the goodness of God, and doubted everything about His character. There’d been times in my life when I knew I’d missed God, but I didn’t know how to explain what was happening when you KNOW that you know that you’re doing what you’ve been told.
I don’t know the exact moment, but somewhere in the midst of realizing that I couldn’t change any of what was going on, I gave in. It was hard because I knew giving in didn’t necessarily mean that my circumstances would change, but I decided that I’d rather give into what God was doing than to be depressed over it. All He needed was my full heart. Seasons of winter really do bring such clarity, and redirect our attention back on what is important. In the moments of barrenness from this season, the Holy Spirit has taught me to heal and to love genuinely from the depths of me. It has been the moments of rest that He’s destroyed the mindset that I have to perform for Him, or for other people. It has been both the hardest and the most rewarding year of my entire life.
So, for whomever is struggling today with what the heck is going on in your life, be still. Be faithful. Be honest. I know it’s hard, but seasons of barrenness will always produce seasons of fruit. God is preparing you so that He can launch you.