KEEP GOING. KEEP BELIEVING//

“Shall I bring to the point of birth and not cause to bring forth?” says the Lord; “shall I, who cause to bring forth, shut the womb?” says your God,” (Isaiah‬ ‭66:9‬, ESV)

‬”Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” GOD ’s Decree. “Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. I’ll make everything right again for my people Israel: “They’ll rebuild their ruined cities. They’ll plant vineyards and drink good wine. They’ll work their gardens and eat fresh vegetables. And I’ll plant them, plant them on their own land. They’ll never again be uprooted from the land I’ve given them.” GOD, your God, says so,” (Amos‬ ‭9:13-15‬, MSG‬‬)

“Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours,” (Isaiah‬ ‭61:7,‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

stay in peace.

The temptation to exchange peace for worry can be real. Sometimes the reality of “peace that surpasses all understanding” is so contrary to our flesh that we feel like we’re not doing enough, or that peace isn’t normal in the midst of trying times. A lot of times, it’s not a question of whether or not God will come through, it’s a matter of “Exactly how long can I remain this calm throughout the rest of this process? 😂 Can I discipline myself to stay in this peace, and in the love of God?”

The answer is YES.
YES, you can.

Last night, I opened my Bible, and it fell to 2 Chronicles 20. It is a great reminder of God’s faithfulness when His children turn their faces to Him. If you’re battling with staying in peace, this is what the Lord has to say:

“Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde for the battle is not yours but God’s.”

“You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf.”

“Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be established; believe His Words, and you will succeed.”

Praise before your breakthrough.
“And when they began to sing and praise, the Lord set an ambush against their enemies.”

frail refuges

“Where could I go from your Spirit? Where could I run and hide from your face? If I go up to heaven, you’re there! If I go down to the realm of the dead, you’re there too!” 
– Psalm 139: 7-8

I used to do this thing when I felt rejected where I would retreat. I would either leave the setting that I was in or (if I was stuck where I was) I’d physically find a way to retreat into myself. You could find me tucked deeply into corners, or if I couldn’t find a corner, I’d retreat into myself. I’d pull my knees close to my chest, and wrap my arms around them, and wait for the rejection to pass. If it were REALLY bad, I’d even lay my head on my knees to take a moment to breathe.

 For a long time, I considered that posture my safe place.

For a split second, I could silence the world. I could hide away from everything that was happening around me, all the things that hurt, and the disappointment I constantly felt from not feeling protected or defended by God (ultimately, not feeling loved).

That season’s passed, & the Lord has taught me a lot about His love and the frailty of my refuge. It provided a sense of comfort for a while, but it never healed. This post isn’t necessarily about rejection (that’s soon enough), but I’ve been reading over this passage from Psalm 139 for a few days, and it’s reminded me of those days of that false refuge.

In whatever ways you’re coping, God wants to encourage YOU that the He sees you.

– Wherever you run, He’s there (verse 7)
– If you’ve made sin your lying place, He’s there (verse 8
– If you take refuge in isolation & darkness, He’s there.
– & even in the darkness, His hand will still lead you and His right hand will still hold you (verse 10)

He’s not even intimidated by our limited knowledge of darkness, and He never looks away in the middle of our pain or shame.

”It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you,” (verse 12‬, MSG)!

Your refuge can’t heal you,
Only the One that you’re turning from can.
He loves you. He’s waiting for you.
and despite what you think, He still thinks so highly of you.

“Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them!”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:17, MSG

letting go of the box.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged.

almost a year, to be exact.

But it’s been good and necessary. I took time (& still taking time) to process all of the things. (Trust me, the things in my heart did not need to be processed on anybody’s blog! Lol!)

The one thing that I do know is that the Holy Spirit is shattering/has shattered this box that I’ve put God & myself into.

I’ve always hated the fact that I seemed to be someone who was always processing something within her heart, but “the process” will forever be happening in my life. It will forever be happening in all of our lives, and it doesn’t always have to look a certain way. If it’s one thing that I’ve recently learned, it’s this: God can use the most unconventional measures to show you His hand in anything.

He invites us into unconventional measures. “For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so no human being might boast in the presence of God. So that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord,” (1 Corinthians 1: 25,27-29,31)

So, during this time away, the box that I’ve grown accustomed to has gotten too small for the gifts and talents on the inside of me. It’s gotten too small for my voice.

I don’t know what all is going on, but I do know this: I’m only 27 and I don’t have to know it all.

I don’t have to be in control. I don’t have to fear.

I don’t have to have an inkling as to where He has me, or where He’s taking me.

I don’t even HAVE to have a promise.

So, this is me,

& this is a bit of a re-intro back into blogging.

thoughts 6/17

(Absolutely nothing about this is edited. I started a timer and began writing!)

I think it’s scary to consider myself as a writer, or that I have the capability to inspire anyone. It’s not that I don’t believe in myself, it’s just that I think of others who can do it better.

Last night I watched this interview (well, part of it) with Chrissy Metz. She was talking about how even now she still gets nervous about walking onto the set of “This is Us”.” She was interviewing with Priscilla Shirer, and they both were saying that they have to be cautious of singling themselves out, thinking that everyone else in the room has it all together except for them. When in reality, everyone is freaking out just as much as they are.

I guess that’s where I find myself today. I wanted to start honing in on the gifts that the Lord has placed on the inside of me. So, I decided to become a member of COMPEL. One of the first assignments is to set a timer for 30 minutes and just write.

One thing I’ve found to be hard in all of this is wanting everything to be perfect, and to flow the “right way.” I have the vision in my mind, I can see, I can envision exactly what it is that I want to do, but I just cannot get it to work out.

I question myself, and I question whether this is a desire of my heart that God didn’t give me.

I question how authentic I come across when I write. I never want to be someone who is one way in writing and completely different in real life.

I’m not perfect by any means, of course! Lol! That challenger in me comes out real strong when I’m stressed, but overall, I want to be authentic to where I am, what I’m feeling, and what the Lord is doing in my life in a moment.

Speaking of (haha! This are STRAIGHT raw thoughts at this point! ), I am learning to stop putting words to what I believe the Lord is doing in a specific season. I think I’ve just grown up (since being saved) with this mindset that God loved for me to know that. While I do love having vision for what God is doing, at this point, I’m finding that I’ve become a bit controlling. Knowing what’s going on helps me to stay in control. It doesn’t allow me to free fall, knowing that God will catch me. It’s kept me in this box of what I know is certain.

One thing I DO know is that I’m learning to lose the box!

It’s okay to listen to more than worship music.

It’s okay to say “no” and to set boundaries.

It’s okay to remain when everyone else has walked away.

It’s okay to walk a new path and to be on a new journey.

It’s okay ro discover myself.

It’s okay to not have it all together.

Some days will not be perfect, and that’s okay.

It’s okay if I’m wrong (I think I actually like this — takes the pressure off!).

It’s okay to be weak. I don’t have to always be strong.

It’s okay to go slow.

It’s okay to process slow. It’s okay to read my Bible slow. It’s okay if I don’t catch “it” as fast as everyone else.

It’s okay to develop.

It’s okay for this blog to develop, for my artistic abilities to develop, for musical abilities to develop, and for photography skills to develop.

It’s okay to start over. While I was never one of those people who felt as if they had to be somewhere by a certain age, I am one of those people who thought they’d be somewhere by a certain season fo life. It’s okay to be where I am.

For the Two in me, it’s okay to invite people into the process, to really guard your heart, and allow the walls to come down simultaneously.

It’s okay to love… but with boundaries, baby girl! 🙂

It’s okay to let stuff go. If it’s God’s will, it’ll come back even better than before because now it’s developed, and you’ve developed because you’ve allowed him to work in you.

IT’S OKAY TO LET GO OF LEGALISM.

It’s okay to dream.

Dream again.

DREAM BIG.

Begin again.

(Haha!!! 10 seconds to spare!!!!)

grace requires nothing of me.

“I’ve spent my whole life searching desperately to find out that grace requires nothing of me” – Sleeping At Last, “One”


Any perfectionists out there? ✋🏾 I listened to a podcast a few days ago, and my mind was BLOWN by how often I think that everything has to look/feel/flow a certain way, and that I’m the only person who can make it happen. Y’all, the “I can do it!” struggle can be real some days! What I’m finding, though, is that in the moments when it’s not “going according to plan,” Holy Spirit is trying to meet me with grace.

To the ones who need a reminder today that you don’t have to have it all figured out to come to the table:

You are not inherently bad. Even in the seasons that have been hard, God still sees you. “I have loved you at your darkest,” Romans 5:8, ESV . 

Remember, you can NOT do it by yourself, and there’s nothing to prove. You cannot earn your worth. While your heart for wanting to make sure that everything that can be done right is done as right as possible, you’re wearing yourself out, Martha. You need Holy Spirit to help you. You need rest. Embrace grace. “But he answered me, ‘My grace is ALWAYS more than enough for you, and my power finds it full expression through your weakness,’ So, I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me. SO, I AM NOT DEFEATED BY MY WEAKNESS — BUT DELIGHTED..” 2 Cor. 12: 9-10a, TPT

When God’s grace pulls you close, don’t resist His love that casts out condemnation and silences the inner judge. “So now the case is closed. There remains NO accusing voice of condemnation against those who are joined in life-union with Jesus, the Anointed One,” Romans 8:1, TPT .

This a lifelong journey. Embrace grace on the good days & the bad ones. “Surely there is not a righteous man on Earth who does good & never sins.” Ecclesiastes 7:20, ESV .

P.S. That Sleeping at Last podcast for 1’s is the BOOOOOMB! Go listen if your Wing is a 1 (or if your Type is a 1, obviously! 😂😂) Also, “Extravagant” by Steffany Gretzinger & Amanda Cook (the live/acoustic version) is a great reminder of His love for us!

instablog 5|29

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith.”
‭‭(1 Peter‬ ‭5:6-9a, ESV)

Have you ever walked through seasons of life where you know that God is teaching you lessons, but it seems that no one else is getting this same lesson? Coincidentally, you keep having run-ins that test the gangster in you, yet the Lord tells you, “Shh… Don’t defend yourself. Don’t even talk about the situation. Bless that person, and allow me be your vindicator.” Maybe, there’s something that you’re believing for, and it seems like you’re the only person left in it. “My husband has been living with anther woman for two years. Some days are so discouraging, but I have not felt God to tell me to give up.”

I’ve been there. I’m still there. Heck, I STAY there! 😭😂 in the seasons where it seems like you’re grasping for air, looking for God:

1. Keep going. Keep humbling yourself while you wait for God to honor your faithfulness. Your pain may be real, but He’s preparing the most beautiful heart for something SO much bigger than what you can see right now.

2. Keep looking to Jesus. We are going to endure various kinds of sufferings. The Bible promises that. However, in those sufferings, we can bring our burdens to the Lord. “He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22)

3. Keep resisting the devil. You stay sober-minded by casting your cares, and allowing God to give you a new perspective (even if you need a new perspective every 3 minutes). Pull yourself out of self-pity, and dare yourself to keep trusting God.

4. Keep expecting God to show up. “And after you have suffered a little while, the God is all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself RESTORE, CONFIRM, STRENGTHEN, & ESTABLISH you.” (v. 10)

let it go.

You know those moments when God is pressing on your heart to let go of something? Those moments where you’re willing, but it is the hardest thing in the world to do? You keep going back to prayer. You constantly reread Words to keep you encouraged. You keep wondering, “Am I making a right decision?” And, if you were completely, 100% honest with yourself, you’re really wondering how you will muster up the courage to actually move forward. Fear is asking you, “What will your life look like without ________ (you insert your own blank)?”

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews‬ ‭12:2‬, ESV‬‬)

Jesus understood that what He would gain was worth laying down His life. 

What we’re giving up is not only better for ourselves, but it’s also better for our purpose in this season of life, and ultimately, the people we’re called to influence. We’re called to make disciples. If God is asking you to lay something down (even if it’s hard), you can believe that it will not only be for your good, but for the good of those that you’ll encounter.

He has good things for YOU. You do not have to feel fear or shame about moving forward.